Milennials are Killing The Michael Bolton Industry

Millennials, the generation known for their wild spending and carefree disposition, have recently received a notorious reputation for being the perpetrator of industries’ demise. This disastrous group is single-handedly responsible for the deconstruction of countless industries including napkins, casual dining, golf, and cereal. But they have plotted another unionized attack, and this time on a lovable pop-rock treasure; millennials have begun their focused destruction of the Michael Bolton industry. 

Michael Bolton, famed for his iconic, smooth voice and romanticized ballads, has become irrelevant in today’s society. Younger consumers are instead opting for artists like Drake’s modern take on love. Recent reports show that Michael Bolton listenership has decreased 65% since the start of the fiscal year. However, 73% of those surveyed admitted to listening to Drake in the past week. Consumers are viewing Michael Bolton’s music as “irrelevant,” “outdated,” and “less functional.” 

Perhaps this stems from the fact that millennials are shunning long-term romantic commitments, and relate instead to Drake’s frequent heartbreak. Marriage rates have steadily decreased in recent years, and Michael Bolton’s romantic ballads have become less relevant, as younger generations stray from what was previously known to be romance.

Research must also take into account the variant in consumption of music, as recent generation opt for streaming services like Spotify and Apple Music. This destroys Michael Bolton’s sales and popularity, as his songs are only available on CD and cassette. Michael Bolton’s once sincere and swoon-worthy vocals appear to no longer keep up with modern advancements. 

Finally, research shows that Michael Bolton albums are 55% more difficult to listen to than Drake albums, and millennials are less likely to consume media that requires effort. Difficulty stems from the fact that Michael Bolton requires his music to be purchased in the form of a physical copy, that you must first caress, then perform a romantic ballad to, before the music unlocks. This slight extra effort, similar to the extra effort required to prepare cereal, could be the final blow against Bolton’s career.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s