Silicon Valley (And Music)’s Hottest Love Square

It’s only been a few months since Canadian singer/songwriter Grimes announced her relationship with Millennials’ most hated entrepreneur, Elon Musk. The two allegedly connected over some nerdy shit over Twitter, when Musk googled if some dumbass AI joke had been made before. To his, and everyone else’s surprise, it had, by his current goth girlfriend Grimes. The two haven’t been very public with their relationship, aside from appearances at the Met Gala and Grimes’s since deleted tweets defending Musk’s treatment of employees, yet their relationship somehow continues to flourish. 

That is, with some disturbance. Jeff Bezos, international human-hater has since become jealous of Musk’s “big titty goth gf” and began pining for Grimes’s attention. The “entrepreneur” has taken to social media to make similarly niche AI jokes and anti-union statements that would hopefully pique the singer’s attention. Unbeknownst to Elon Musk, the two were also both seen at E3 last weekend. Perhaps this marks hidden romance for Grimes, or maybe Grimes has darker intentions for capitalism’s most eligible names. 

But Musk has plans of his own, spotted dining last weekend with known goth Marilyn Manson. When fans waiting outside the restaurant questioned Manson’s intentions, he cryptically replied that “culture always becomes counterculture. I’m just crawling on board first. Lurking in the shadows of transition. That’s true counterculture.” 

Could Musk be planning to replace his goth girlfriend, or is this another business deal? Follow Porkspork’s coverage of this techno-goth love square as we continue to believe that Grimes is planning a real life takedown. 

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